Why I love and Hate Summer!

Having a great summer with many events to attend and host. Nothing major, but all involve food and many involve restaurant eating. Had two lunches out this week, three dinners out at restaurants, guests over twice, and a party to attend. Now, considering all of this, I managed to only add .2 pounds to my weight. AAAGGGGHH! Keep in mind that if I hadn't gained that .2 pounds, and had only managed to lose .1 more, I would have jumped to a lower "decade" in weight. That would have sounded so much better in terms of numbers. 

  The real kicker was when I discussed this with two pros at W.W.  They tell me that they don't drink a thing after 2 p.m. of weigh-in day....and I had been guzzling water, and tea all afternoon! Will have to try their method next week and see if my efforts show. Wish I had a morning weigh-in, and then I wouldn't blame it on jewelry, glasses, clothes, water, meals, extra mascara, etc......

  This week....one major event, and out of two for two days. However, since that is life, and I have to cope with that, I guess I will just have to do my best, and hope for good news next Tuesday night!

Slowly but Surely....

Did manage to lose another pound this week at weigh-in. Felt as though I had made a great effort, and then I realized that we had been out for more meals than I realized, and this is an area which gives me great problems. No matter how I think I am doing in terms of portion control, etc., it seems to get the better of me. So, I should not be surprised at this very gradual weight loss. The fact that the scale showed up four pounds heavier after the June feasting, (I got away with it for a few weeks! Didn't show up on the scale!)  means that I have been fighting to get that off. Used to be a whole lot easier to take weight off! What is that about? Has my metabolism slowed down to NOTHING in my "old age"? Could it be that my poor body has been on diets so often that it is not going to be fooled into giving up weight so easily this time? (I think my first diet started when I was below my ideal weight! What was I thinking??)

   My goal this week is to track at least four of the days. Write it before you bite it....we'll see!

Buffets...the scourge of a dieter's existence!

After having three very successful days at sticking with my program, I found myself at a huge buffet out of town today for the mid-day meal. The one good thing I can say is that it was the early meal. I could add that I had walked for an hour early in the day, and that after the meal, I walked for around 1 1/2 hours, and some of that was uphill. I could also say that although I ate more than usual, it seemed that I tried a bit of what was on my plate, rather than eating everything. Yes, I had dessert, but half of the choices I had taken. The buffet, it seems, was not the bad part. Dinner on the way home was more than I needed, although I opted for a side salad instead of fries. Have avoided regular hamburgers for three weeks, but had one tonight. Could have lessened the damage by having the kids' size burger. Hindsight is 20/20....and then having eaten more than normal all day, somehow, peanuts fell into my mouth tonight when we got home. Had never read the nutritional info about peanuts before. Not good in terms of calories, particularly after a heavy food day. Hope that I learned my lesson and can stick to something tomorrow!

Limited Success....

Since the last post, I showed a gain at Weight Watchers  (all of my sins catching up with me from June feasting), and thankfully, since the "kick in the pants" at the doctor's office, showed a 2.2 loss this week. Eating less and way better choices. I know that by purchasing six months of meetings I have done myself a favor. Too easy to quit when I go week by week. I actually stay for the meetings, and have learned lots from people who have had great success with their programs. One person has lost over 150 pounds! Now, really, since I don't have nearly that to lose, surely I can make some headway here. Support is great, though, and since I go to the meetings with some friends, it is a commitment for all of us. 

  Finally, going in the right direction....plus an hour walk every morning! About two months of this routine, and I hope that it will become habit, and just a part of my life!

Dose of Reality

Playing around with dieting all of this time and accomplishing nothing has brought me to a bit of a health crisis....just into the numbers that say I am diabetic, and cholesterol numbers are too high as well. Is this what it takes to get me moving? I have convinced the doctor that if I do not have healthier numbers in three months, then the medication would start. So....game on. Nothing like a dose of reality/kick in the pants to motivate a person. Amazing how my eating habits have already changed!

It takes a Watch dog!

Finally, after thinking that I would do a program on my own, I joined Weight Watchers and am attending the meetings. Despite having had numerous "special occasions", I have managed to lose 3.6 pounds in the last few weeks. This is certainly better than I would have done on my own. There is something about "facing the music" for me. It can't be confessing to a friend, or setting up a personal program, it seems. I must need the structure at this point in my life, and to that end, I have joined for six months. I expect to see moderate weight loss, but a year from now, I will be certainly happier and healthier, and very likely, thinner. I have joined Weight Watchers so many times in the past, but this time, I have a group of friends going with me. Some extra insurance that I stick with it. Will keep all "posted"!

Inspiration!

Love those success stories! I have needed some inspiration to get at and stick to the W.W. that I have wasted a whole month of subscription to! I am going to have to join the actual club, I think, to have the "watch dog" of the scale. Somebody else weighing me would be a good thing. However, I have found a blog today that will be a major source of inspiration. Visit Cara's blog and read about her success story. She has reached the milestone of 100 pounds!!! Amazing! Surely, if she can lose that weight slowly and steadily, then I can make a decent attempt to lose the thirty pounds that would make a huge difference to me. Starting......now!

Thirty Days makes a Habit

A first success a few years ago was inspired by reading a book which stated that it takes at least 30 days to instill a habit. I recall walking every day for that thirty days, and continued that habit for over two years. (It takes a lot less that thirty days to turn a habit into dust if you stop doing it. I found that out without reading a book!)

  So, I guess that is what I have to do. Surely, I can do that for thirty days. If I think it isn't working, I guess I can stop it. I have a feeling that if I did do that, (exercising and trying to stick to some sort of a program), I would see some results. 

  That will be my plan. Stay tuned.

Lessons to Learn

Joined W.W. online about two weeks ago. Have paid little attention to it because I have followed the program before and think that I know it all. If I knew it all, I would not be following a program again, now would I? Typical of anything like that that I start. I start applying all of the lessons from other programs instead of following the one I should be concentrating on. 

  However, I did take some time to look at some of the information on the W.W. site. I looked at restaurants, and the points value, and took a quiz. Found out that there is a lot to learn on the site. Found out that I don't know everything. Found out that I should really try to follow the program that I spent hard-earned money on rather than just thinking that it is going to work without any effort from me. 

  We'll see.

My relationship with Cottage Cheese

There are some foods that one just naturally thinks of when thinking about dieting. One of them is cottage cheese. Perhaps it is because by the time that you choose to diet, the cellulite that you are gathering on your body resembles cottage cheese. Not sure, but it might be a plausible theory. 

  I brought cottage cheese for lunch earlier this week, and managed to finally have that as the "lunch" today. Other foods, just about anything, really, would drag me away from my virtuous intentions, causing me to snub that cottage cheese. (which is really quite good if you top it with pineapple and chopped walnuts!)

  But worse, is the fact that I seem to think that by joining something, it will do the work for me. Joined W.W. online over a week ago but really have paid little attention to it. Makes me wonder if it is stubbornness or apathy. Not sure. Menopause? Don't know. Probably don't care. I guess I will have myself to blame if things don't turn around soon. What they say about being in the right frame of mind is the first step. Wanting to do it for myself. 

   But there is that wedding we have to go to in August. Maybe I just found my inspiration....

What program?

Though I am supposed to be doing an "online" program, I haven't referred to it in days. Could it be because I have tried to do this so many times before that I think that I know it all? Weekends are always difficult, although getting through the first two meals of the day are not usually the issue. Dinner out is always an issue. No dinners at home the last three days! And one more dinner out tonight. Can just hope to "hold it together" for most of the day and no nighttime eating. 

The Three Deadly Sins

These are the three sins that I can confess to committing today. I guess the only good thing is that I now notice them. Portion is a big issue. Must watch that, particularly with things like pasta, and finger foods. The second sin to which I must confess is that in a social situation (there were two today!), I am still too "green" with the tracking not to lose control. This means that I can either avoid those situations, or try to be painfully aware that there are going to have to be things that I just shouldn't even START to eat if I can't control the portion and the poorer food choices. 

  Tracking all of the food while I am planning the day would be better, too. I am putting good thoughts out there that I am going to "get it" before my three month stint on W.W. online is complete!

A Good Incentive

I rarely allow pictures to be taken of me. Now, I know why. I found one that was taken a while ago, and it is funny how one doesn't see oneself like the camera does. Might be a good idea to keep that picture around somewhere for the times that I think I might just forget about following any sort of program.

  Need to refer to W.W. online, but at least the choice of foods has been healthier. Tomorrow is weigh-in day....

Tracking one's progress

This would be a lot easier on this program if one had a computer handy all day long. However, knowing that there were "points" in question, it did seem easier to keep track of food intake, even if it wasn't all tracked officially today. Also, very good that it was a busy day with a lot of structure...and not a refrigerator or cupboard in site. Just what was packed, and of course, in the morning, I am full of good intentions, so nothing "extra" ended up in the packed lunch today. My ten thousand steps were more like four thousand, though. One step (no pun intended!) at a time!

A Plan

Have been floundering with these posts, probably trying to rationalize myself out of following any plan, and following bits of the ones that I have used in the past, and not sticking to any one in particular. Decided that I need a more definite plan, and for that reason, and since I am spending so much time at the computer anyway, I have joined Weight Watchers online. I have done this program by attending meetings, but found that I go for a while, and then stop. I will be committed to this for three months at least, and at least I will be able to see how/when/why I turn to the wrong food. Not to bore anyone with the details of any plan, but suffice it to say that this will help me with the factual stuff, and I can do the "discovering" part here while I try to change my evil ways! 

   And, weigh-ins are on Wednesday. Hope that I can report a small change from last Friday's weigh-in...and a change for the better!

Starting point

Did it. Faced the scale. Not going to mention any numbers, but suffice it to say that I will start with the first 10 pounds, and now at least I know the starting place. Every Friday. Facing the music!

Weigh-ins are important!

Saw Kirstie Alley on Oprah today. She has gained back the weight she lost in her very public attempt to be thin. I think that the key thing was that she stopped getting weighed. Someone used to come to her house to weigh her, and when she quit the Jenny program, the weigh-ins stopped...and that was the beginning of the weight coming back on.

   With that in mind, my weigh in is tomorrow. And, once a week from there on in. Promise. Make me stick to that promise. 

All talk, no action!

It seems that I can examine all of the thoughts that I would like, but really, I can't manage to do anything about my concerns. Had company tonight, and dinner was the problem. Still eating too much, too fast...and eating beyond being hungry...and that is not good!

  It really is time to become more accountable. (Have you noticed no weight posted? Since the beginning of these posts?) 

  Breakfast, no problem, lunch, no problem, even the snacks in between, no problem. Where the problem seems to lie is overeating at DINNER, and occasionally, eating after dinner during the evening, when I am not really hungry. So, if I KNOW that is the problem (along with the lack of exercise), then why am I not acting on it? AAHHGGG! 

  (calmer now) Tomorrow is a new day. Start again. Write down what is consumed during the day, even if it includes food that I would not normally think of as "program" food. 

Diet, shmiet....

On Monday, I receive notifications from Weight Watchers. I watch the Jenny Craig commercials, and look at the ads for various weight loss clinics in our local papers. By now, I know that I don't want to stand in line at a W.W. meeting, and the other types of diets just stress me out and make me think of food even more! Although I know that these are all good programs, probably the best one I know is "eat less and walk more", which is about all I am capable of handling right now. Went out to dinner tonight, and although I made some choices that were worse than others, basically, things are improving in that area. Trying not to eat in the evening, unless it is veggies, so that is a plus. Not walking as much as I would like. Again, stating the obvious....I need to get back into that routine of walking in the morning....on the treadmill, by myself, and changing the speed, etc. 

  ...and tomorrow is yet another Monday, start the program day!

Facing the truth

One knows by the number of birthdays that one has had that aging is inevitable. However, do you really expect your body to change so much? Aside from carrying the extra weight around, it is what this weight is doing that is concerning me....it is dropping to places lower in my body than where it was intended to land! At this rate, I will have feet that will be the biggest part of me because everything is slipping there! 

  Probably an indication that more exercise is needed, particularly the toning kind. However, weight is, and remains the biggest issue. I am glad that some people can accept themselves, and accept their body shapes, etc. and be happy. I am not one of those. Guess the rest is up to me!

Another lesson

I have managed to stay away from evening eating....for about three days. Broke that "stretch" last night, and ate something just before bedtime. Not a good idea. Why?

   #1. Doing that broke my good intentions.

    #2. I wasn't hungry.

    #3. Now, I feel crappy.

Perhaps if I go with that thinking, that I just don't feel as good if I eat late at night, then it will sink in and I will give up that dreadful habit. Boredom, emotional eating, whatever, it has to stop!

Weigh-in Wednesday?

That didn't happen! Did the week get away on me, or did I lose track of the days? Or, was I just avoiding that contraption altogether? It is an eye-opener to finally face the numbers. Not doing it enough. Can be five extra pounds before you know it.

  Better get that weigh-in done before the weekend. Goal is ten pounds by July. Not impossible....if you stick with something long enough. We'll see.

Why Did I eat?

Because it was there. Had a pretty good day until food was delivered by another family member. Ate it. Shouldn't have. 

  Walked a bit. Not enough.

   Enough said.

Look to the Positive

The main stumbling block in any type of program for me, and likely for others, is the fact that we reach for quick things to eat when we are hungry. There are almonds in my freezer, which are a great food but not in the quantity that I can eat....especially when making dinner, or making reservations for dinner. The fruit thing and the veggie thing...not so easy if they are not prepared. One is going to reach for something easier and quicker to eat if things are not prepared. 

   I turned over a new (lettuce!) leaf today and prepared a huge amount of salad and raw veggies. There won't be an excuse for the next few days. Bought fruit, and grilled some chicken. Walked for 20 minutes with some "sprints" on the treadmill. "Baby steps" to changing a lifestyle.

   The main success was not eating out today. Too often, we do that, because it is just "us" at home now, and it is easier, social, and time gets away on us. Big mistake. No matter how much I know about ordering in restaurants, it all escapes me once I am there. Portions, bread, preparation.....chicken wings! Would be wise to avoid restaurant eating for a while, but already I know that isn't going to happen. Tomorrow there are plans to eat out again. One day at a time, though, and providing I don't feel the urge to go into the kitchen tonight, it was a day in which I recorded some successes. 

My Relationship with Oprah

I wish that I had more in common with Oprah. I don't have her money, her influence, her friends, etc., but we sure share this common problem with food and weight. She has suggested that she is angry with herself for letting this happen again, and I can surely sympathize. The only difference is that she has to go through this while being in the public eye.

   What little resolutions can I make at this point in the year. First of all, tomorrow is Monday. Don't all diets begin on Monday? Perhaps just trying to eat only when hungry would be a good place to start. What else can I add to the "mix"? Some exercise would be good. There was a time that I had a great relationship with my treadmill. I had read that it takes about thirty days to develop an exercise habit...and I did that. Got up at 6 a.m., and did my 30 minutes on the treadmill, and eventually that made a difference. Why argue with success? It is time to get back in the habit of doing that. I know that no matter how much time I have in my day, if I think that I am going to get the exercise in later, I am usually wrong. A walk with friends isn't really exercise, either. A great way to visit, but not a great way to get your heart rate up. Can be an extra few steps added to the day's effort, though.

    The other thing that made me more successful was not having too much in the way of bread throughout the day. That might be my first new rule to try to establish. 

   Weigh in Wednesday.....not that I am going to divulge any numbers to anybody. However, working in five-pound increments for getting the weight off might be a good incentive. Better than trying for 40 pounds (or so!) all at once. 

   Wish me luck about any emotional eating tonight....would be from pure boredom, not because I am hungry. Good luck to anybody out there who ever reads this, too! Likely if you are looking up anything about weight, it is because we share some of the same concerns.  It is still April....still a few months to try to make a difference before the dreaded summer clothes season!

And in the beginning...

there was a young girl at the perfect weight for her height and age. This girl decided that it was time to go "on a diet". And, so it began....years of dealing with diet books, diet clubs, infomercial material related to this quest....and so much for the perfect weight!
Why do we do this to ourselves? The one program that was followed once upon a time suggested that one not eat until hungry! What a novel idea! After eating all of the carbs one wanted and avoiding fat, and then avoiding carbs and eating only protein, and then...well, by the end of several more "proven" programs, all that has happened is that I have become an expert on what to do on many different "diets", and given up on all of them!
In this blog/diary/journal, I am going to share my experiences as I start AGAIN! My bookshelves are groaning from the weight of the books that I have collected through the years, and it is time to clear my head from all of those different regimes. Time to clear the bookshelves, too, and while I am at it, time to clear the closets, too! Going back to that "eat when you are hungry" might be the only diet "rule" that I am going to hang on to. Let's see if common sense will prevail. "One day at a time" might be a good motto to add as well. Hmmm....let's just see what happens!